Finding My Faith

My faith exists as a dichotomy. I have always had an unwavering faith in the goodness of the universe and it's powewr as I make my way through it. I have wrapped myself in the wise adage "karma is destiny" and it has proved itself to be a constant force in my life; the energy I have sent out has come back to me. I have been blessed many times over and I often attribute it to my universal belief that everything will be okay in the end; that I will know more bliss than suffering; more joy than pain.

Yet, as Gabe's heart surgery quickly approaches I am struggling to find that confidence; that serenity. Since Gabriel's birth I have been welcomed into the heart community with open arms. I have celebrated with it, but I have also cried with it. Too many times. I have become aware of a vast array of complications and errors, mishaps and oversights. I am desperately trying to remember all the miracles I have been luckily enough to watch unfold and let their light obscure the darkness I am touched by, but it is a struggle.

I am struggling to find my faith. I am struggling to emerge from the shadows. I am struggling to believe. And I need to believe. I need to believe for Gabe.

I am trying to create our destiny right now, even as I type this. I am envisioning a smooth surgery; uneventful, successful, healing, and done. Can I ask you, oh blogosphere, to do the same? To add the power of your energy to mine so that collectively we might surround Gabe as his body is invaded again. So that we might life him up and create a reality of Gabe with a repaired heart, healthy again.

I have made a button (no small feat, trust me) that I hope my fellow bloggers will add to their websites, one that will remind cyberspace to think of Gabe during his surgery. If I have played my cards right, the code for the button should magically appear. I (crosses fingers) have even made a small sidebar button and a large post button, all for your conveience, my friends. Will wonders never cease? Just use the scrollbar and copy the code, paste it onto your blog and a victory for the techno impaired will have been won!

<a href="http://gabrielsheart.blogspot.com/2007/05/finding-my-faith.html"><img src="http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa279/GabrielsHeart/GabeButton1.jpg" border="0" alt="Feeling the Love across Cyberspace"></a>

<a href="http://gabrielsheart.blogspot.com/2007/05/finding-my-faith.html"><img src="http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa279/GabrielsHeart/GabeButtonLarge.jpg" border="0" alt="Feeling the Love across Cyberspace"></a>

Thank you my friends. I wish this wasn't so hard.

I can't wait until I write a letter just like this one.

Until then, let the good vibrations roll...